a slap from reality
.. hurts like, like you wanna cry and scream and get mad at everything and anything that comes right in front of you.

so the truth finally got me. the thing that i've denied for the longest time came right at my face and there was no turning back. the only thing i could say was "ok, so i believe you this time.." but deep inside me i was screaming like hell. but of course i could never let it out. it was too complicated. i am complicating it. coz i wasn't supposed to be affected like this in the first place. or again, i may be in denial for reasons i don't wanna think about.

times like this make me wonder on why i don't wanna be with someone. do i really wanna be alone? will i be happy just like everyone else? why is it that the people i like, are always happy with someone else? am i being too dramatic over here?!

naah.

i'm just being the same old andie who's always thinking about things i shouldn't think of. i'm happy being single. i really am. but there are times that i just couldn't avoid thinking that it would be better if i was with this person, or that other person, or the other one.. i mean, who doesn't think that way huh?! but this time, i am not, and will not say that that person will be more happy being with me. coz i know that it's not true. what we have right now, is all we'll ever have probably for the rest of our lives. and i should be thankful for that! but i already am thankful.

just bitter.
but i'll get over this. i always have.